Sunday, January 18, 2015

The Hoser's NFL Postseason Picks 2014, Week 3

Green Bay (+8) at SEATTLE (46): We saw what happens when a quarterback plays on one leg last week. No, not Rodgers -- Manning, who probably shouldn't have even suited up. Now look at Rodgers, who has put another week of wear on that calf injury.
This is a much tougher defense than Dallas, and Rodgers is going to be forced to move around, and he'll be hit. Green Bay will make the cover, but I don't think this game is even that close. Seahawks 23, Packers 16.

Indianapolis (+6.5) at NEW ENGLAND (53.5): I simply can't pick against the Patriots and Tom Brady any more. If New England wins this Super Bowl, he is the greatest coach who ever coached. Not John Wooden, not Vince Lombardi, not anyone else.
If this roster were in any other city, fans would be howling for the GM's head, yet Belichick devises ways to make Brady as effective as possible and squeeze every drop out of the castoffs he has. I would love to see Belichick take over the worst Arena League team and see what he could do in a year. Or even better -- the Raiders! Patriots 29, Colts 20.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

The Hoser's NFL Postseason Picks 2014, Week 2

Busy with auctions, so just the picks this week.

Baltimore (+7) at NEW ENGLAND (47.5): Patriots 23, Ravens 17.
Carolina (+11.5) at SEATTLE (40): Seahawks 24, Panthers 14.
Dallas (+6.5) at GREEN BAY (52.5): Packers 30, Cowboys 16.
Indianapolis (+7) at DENVER (54): Broncos 31, Colts 17.

Lock of the Week: Denver
Trifecta: Denver, Green Bay, Carolina

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The Hoser's NFL Postseason Picks 2014, Week 1

Arizona Cardinals (+6) at CAROLINA PANTHERS (38): This crushes me, but as much of a fanboy as I'd like to be, the Cardinals are one-and-done. Why in the hell didn't they go out and get another quarterback? Maybe the front office realized that unless Kurt Warner had a time machine, with the lack of a solid running game this team wasn't going to go deep anyway, so why waste the cash and/or pick? As long as Lindley checks down and avoids mistakes, it'll stay close for the first half, but the Arizona defense is going to be gassed by the end of the third. Panthers 26, Cardinals 13.

Baltimore Ravens (+3) at PITTSBURGH STEELERS (45.5): The Ravens are overrated. The Steelers don't have Le'Veon Bell and are starting Josh Harris, a undrafted rookie running back so nondescript that ESPN's story on the situation mistakenly links to Atlanta longsnapper Josh Harris. Is that a wash? No, because Pittsburgh still have Antonio Brown and Ben Roethlisberger to throw for a bajillion yards, and the Ravens will find out between Harris and Dre Archer, Pitssburgh will be just fine. Steelers 30, Ravens 19.

Detroit Lions (+6.5) at DALLAS COWBOYS (48): Interesting stat -- Matthew Stafford is 0-16 in his career on the road against a team with a winning record. I'm not sure how much stock I put into that, but even Megatron went crazy the last time these two teams played, he still only scored one TD. Even with the ever-present spectre of a ROMOMENT (trademark pending), I like Dallas. Cowboys 27, Lions 20.

Cincinnati Bengals (+3.5) at INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (49): After that recent primetime win, is the monkey off Andy Dalton's back? Probably not, but I'm taking the team with the kickass running game, and that ain't Indy. Bengals 24, Colts 22.

Lock of the Week: Carolina

Trifecta: Carolina, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

The Hoser's 2014 NFL Picks, Week 17 Edition

I think last week was the first time I've missed getting my selections posted in five years. I'm just barely getting them in this week.

Detroit (+7.5) at Green Bay (46.5): Packers 30, Lions 20.
Jacksonville (+8) at Houston (38.5): Texans 24, Jaguars 20.
Cincinnati (+3.5) at Pittsburgh (48): Not two weeks in a row in prime time, Andy. Steelers 31, Bengals 20.
Indianapolis (-7.5)  at Tennessee (46.5): Colts 26, Titans 16.
Cleveland (+13.5) at Baltimore (40): I'm hoping to look at the sidelines this week and see Brian Sipe. Ravens 24, Browns 13.
Buffalo (+5.5) at New England (43.5): Edelman and Gronk are out. No matter. Patriots 27, Bills 17.
New York Jets (+7) at Miami (41.5): So long, Rex Ryan. At least he might enjoy getting the boot. Dolphins 23, Jets 20.
Carolina (+3) at Atlanta (47.5): Carolina is really the better team, but I have a weird feeling about Matty Ice ripping up the Panther secondary. Falcons 29, Panthers 24.
Chicago (+7) at Minnesota (46.5): You know, the Vikings might actually be pretty damned good next year. And the Bears might have a new quarterback, coach AND GM. Vikings 24, Bears 19.
San Diego (+2.5) at Kansas City (42): Philip Rivers will make this happen. Chargers 26, Chiefs 14.
Philadelphia (PK) at NY Giants (52): Giants 26, Eagles 23.
Dallas (-6) at Washington (48): The Racists will be fired up after a big win last week. Cowboys 23, Racists 20.
New Orleans (-5.5) at Tampa Bay (46.5): Sean Payton for Jim Harbaugh? Christ, I wouldn't wish that on the Saints. Buccaneers 24, Saints 23.
St. Louis (+11.5) at Seattle (41.5): The Rams always play tough in their own division. Classic backdoor cover situation, too. Seahawks 23, Rams 13.
Arizona (+6.5) at San Francisco (37.5): Damn it, go get Matt Schaub! 49ers 21, Cardinals 17.
Oakland (+14) at Denver (48): The Broncos are pretty banged up. The Raiders are on the road. Brnocos 34, Raiders 22.

Lock of the Week: Oakland
Trifecta: Oakland, Pittsburgh, Atlanta

Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Hoser's 2014 NFL Picks, Week 16, Thursday Edition

You aren't seriously thinking about watching this game, are you? Seek help now.

Tennessee (+4.5) at JACKSONVILLE (39): Jaguars 24, Titans 16.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

The Hoser's 2014 NFL Picks, Week 15 Edition

I've fallen below .500 for the first time this season after two horrendous weeks. Good thing I'm heading out with the family to Eva's Deli in Barrie, ON for brunch schnitzel and pancakes!

Oakland (+10.5) at Kansas City (41.5): This would be perfect, wouldn't it? Oakland wins out and fools itself into thinking they aren't actually THAT bad. Chiefs 23, Raiders 14.
Jacksonville (+13.5) at Baltimore (45): Garbage time equals cover time. Ravens 30, Jaguars 17.
Pittsburgh (-3) at Atlanta (55.5): It's Mike Tomlin's thousand-yard stare vs. Mike Smith sarcastic smirk. Steelers 27, Falcons 23.
Houston (+7) at Indianapolis (49): The power of the Watt is strong! Colts 24, Texans 22.
Cincinnati (+2.5) at Cleveland (43.5): Here comes Johnny Manziel! There go the Browns' playoff chances! Bengals 26, Browns 16.
Miami (+8) at New England (48): Beautiful New England, where Dolphin fans and their dreams go to die. Patriots 30, Dolphins 20.
Tampa Bay (+3) at Carolina (41.5): Yeah, even without Cam Newton. Panthers 20, Buccaneers 16.
Washington (+6.5) at NY Giants (46.5): The problem with this game is ... someone will win. Giants 26, Racists 17.
Green Bay (-4) at Buffalo (50): If the Bills get the right weather and keep the ball on the ground, they can lose by only a touchdown. Packers 27, Bills 20.
Minnesota (+7.5) at Detroit (42): The Vikings have been pretty damned good for the last two months. How about a shocker? Vikings 24, Lions 23.
NY Jets (-3) at Tennessee (42): I would pay $10 to see someone in the crowd wearing a "WE MISS SANCHEZ" jersey. Titans 22, Jets 20.
Denver (-4.5) at San Diego (51): Peyton hasn't looked like Peyton for a few weeks now. Another shocker? Nope. Broncos 30, Chargers 23.
San Francisco (+9.5) at Seattle (38): It's hard to figure how Colin Kaepernick will effectively led this offense from underneath the bus 49ers fans have thrown him under. Seahawks 26, 49ers 16.
Dallas (+3.5) at Philadephia (55): Get in early, NFL franchises -- Jason Garrett will be available for dating in about three weeks. Eagles 29, Cowboys 24.
New Orleans (-3) at Chicago (54): Can you imagine how excited the folks at MNF were to have this game before the season started? Now, a nice primetime tire fire. Saints 31, Bears 21.

Lock of the Week: Green Bay
Trifecta: Minnesota, Cincinnati, Green Bay

2014 Week 14

Lock of the Week: 0-1
Trifecta: 0-1
ATS: 6-10
SU: 9-7
Total $: -840

2014 Season Totals

Lock of the Week: 3-11
Trifecta: 0-14
ATS: 102-104-2
SU: 129-78-1
Total $: -$4,540 

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Hoser's 2014 NFL Picks, Week 15 Thursday Edition

Arizona (+5.5) at St. Louis (40.5): The Rams have been playing extremely well of late, but of course it's been against absolutely shitty teams. I mean, c'mon -- Oakland and Washington? My junior varsity team could have stayed with them for at least three quarters. I like Arizona to win, but the Cardinal defense keeps this close. Rams 22, Cardinals 19.