Sunday, October 25, 2015

The Football Hoser's NFL Picks, Week Seven 2015 Edition

Welcome to Week Seven of the Football Hoser's 2015 NFL picks, where my eye's all better, but my ability to handicap games still sucks.

Actually hit my first Lock of the Week last week, which makes me 1-5 on the season. That seems almost impossible, doesn't it? I pick far too many road teams.

Also, this is being posted after the start of the game in London, but I promise I haven't looked - the kids have monopolized the TV watching some Russian cartoon featuring a bear and a little girl in a babushka. I have no idea either.

Buffalo (-5.5) at JACKSONVILLE (42): Cheerios (I haven't had breakfast yet)! Bills 24, Jaguars 16.
Cleveland (+5.5) at ST. LOUIS (42): I assume this is predicated on Todd Gurley continuing to go nuts, and I can't really argue with that. Rams 23, Browns 20.
Pittsburgh (-2) at KANSAS CITY (42): Do we dare pick a third-string quarterback? We do! Steelers 24, Chiefs 17.
Houston (+4.5) at MIAMI (44.5): The "new coach smell" will last for at least another week or so. Dolphins 23, Texans 20.
New York Jets (+9) at NEW ENGLAND (48.5): Chris Ivory runnin' wild! It'll slow down the game enough that the Jets can stay within 10. Patriots 26, Jets 19.
Minnesota (-2.5) at DETROIT (44.5): Of COURSE I picked last week to rip Matthew Stafford. Look for him to step up again this week. Lions 24, Vikings 20.
Atlanta (-4) at TENNESSEE (48): Anyone else still think Jake Locker is the back-up? Falcons 26, Titans 13.
Tampa Bay (+3.5) at WASHINGTON (43): I read an article saying racism has played a part in why Kirk Cousins gets a longer leash than RGIII did. Really. Racism. Around a team named "Redskins." Buccaneers 20, Racists 17.
New Orleans (+5) at INDIANAPOLIS (52): Andrew Luck's got to get it going at some point, right? Colts 30, Saints 23.
Oakland (+4) at SAN DIEGO (47): Did you know Philip Rivers and his wife are expected their eighth child? Calling TLC! Chargers 24, Raiders 21.
Dallas (+3.5) at NEW YORK GIANTS (45.5): Does anyone trust the Giants' offense at this point? They're up and down like a hooker's panties. Giants 26, Cowboys 23.
Philadelphia (+3) at CAROLINA (46): Have a strange feeling the Kelly offense is going to explode this week. Eagles 33, Panthers 20.
Baltimore (+7.5) at ARIZONA (48.5): Mars needs women and the Ravens need receivers. Cardinals 27, Ravens 16.

Lock of the Week: Atlanta
Trifecta: Detroit, Atlanta, Philadelphia

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