I've already hit the Giants-Panthers Thursday night game (thanks for the crap start, Eli), so we're 1-0 on both sides of the ledger.
As always, remember -- using these picks to wager actual money is about as advisable as getting a neck tattoo so badly botched it could either be a woman you once beat up, or Where's Waldo with a black eye.
St. Louis Rams (+7) at CHICAGO (43): Matt Forte out = 25-30 carries for Michael Bush. 25-30 carries for Bush = less pass attempts for Jay Cutler. Less attempts for Cutler = WINNING. Bears 26, Rams 20.
Tampa Bay (+7.5) at DALLAS (46.5): The Cowboys are the better team, but Greg Schiano has the Bucs believing early. Lots of Doug Martin keeps this below a touchdown. Cowboys 24, Buccaneers 19.
San Francisco (-6.5) at MINNESOTA (42.5): The only mystery here is if Randy Moss will run over a meter maid for old time's sake. 49ers 23, Vikings 14.
Detroit (-3.5) at TENNESSEE (47.5): Think the Titans miss Jeff Fisher much? Lions 31, Titans 17.
Cincinnati (+3) at WASHINGTON (50): Some day, Mike Shanahan will be able to get 32 different running backs one touch each in a game. Racists 24, Bengals 23.
New York Jets (-2.5) at MIAMI (41): Against my better judgment ... Dolphins 22, Jets 16.
Kansas City (+7.5) at NEW ORLEANS (53): Terrible start to the season, Saints? Here's your miracle fix. Saints 30, Chiefs 20.
Buffalo (-2.5) at CLEVELAND (44): I don't trust the Bills, and the Browns have been close. They get their first win at home. Browns 20, Bills 17.
Jacksonville (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS (43): No rookie QB should ever be favoured any time, anywhere. Unless the opponent is the Jaguars. Colts 22, Jaguars 17.
Houston (-2) at DENVER (44): Another bad week for Peyton. Texans 24, Broncos 19.
Philadelphia (-3.5) at ARIZONA (42): When an East Coast team travels to the West Coast, they usually suffer. The Eagles will here. Cardinals 22, Eagles 20.
Atlanta (+3) at SAN DIEGO (48): See above -- especially if Michael Turner was driving the team bus. Chargers 27, Falcons 19.
Pittsburgh (-3.5) at OAKLAND (45.5): When an East Coast team travels to the West Coast, they usually ... oh, it's the Raiders? Nevermind. (Also, I never know whether to capitalize "East Coast" or not. Free chowder would guarantee me doing it forever.) Steelers 27, Raiders 20.
New England (+2.5) at BALTIMORE (50): It warms my heart to see the Patriots as underdogs, and deservedly so here. Ravens 26, Patriots 23.
Green Bay (-3) at SEATTLE (44.5): Is it so hard to play in Seattle because the whole town smells like fish? Packers 22, Seahawks 20.
Lock of the Week: San Diego
Trifecta: San Diego, Pittsburgh, Cleveland
Week Two ATS: 8-6-2
Week Two SU: 8-8
Week Two Lock of the Week: 1-0
Week Two Trifecta: 1-0
Week Two $ Total: $1,140
2012 Season ATS: 11-19-2
2012 Season SU: 15-17
2012 Season Lock of the Week: 1-1
2012 Season Trifecta: 1-1
2012 Season $ Total: -$720
2012 Season ProLine Totals: -$10