The Hoser's NFL Picks, Week 13 2012 Thursday Edition

New Orleans (+3.5) at ATLANTA (54): Falcons 34, Saints 24.

Welcome to Week 12 of The Hoser, where we hope your turkey hangover has passed. We were 2-1 ATS and straight up on the Thursday games (my lack of faith in Washington betrayed me). Had I half a brain, I would have made the Patriots my Lock this week, because seriously, how were they going to not beat the freaking Jets by at least 20?

Baltimore completely boned us last week, blowing two Pro-Line tickets when Justin Tucker missed a field goal. Somehow, my subconscious made me drop Tucker off my fantasy squad. Hiya, Adam Vinatieri!

In another massive fail, we went 12-1 straight up and forgot to send our picks in to our pool. Genius.

Oakland (+7.5) at CINCINNATI (50.5): Bengals 31, Raiders 20.
Pittsburgh (-2.5) at CLEVELAND (34): Who's at quarterback for Pittsburgh today, Bubby Brister? Browns 20, Steelers 17.
Buffalo (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS (51.5): Colts 27, Bills 20.
Denver (-10) at KANSAS CITY (43): I have to think the most grateful man in the NFL is Romeo Crennel. How the hell is he still drawing a paycheque? Broncos 26, Chiefs 13.
Tennessee (-3.5) at JACKSONVILLE (44.5): Chad Henne, ladies and gentlemen! Jaguars 24, Titans 20.
Minnesota (+6.5) at CHICAGO (39.5): Bears 27, Vikings 16.
Atlanta (-1.5) at TAMPA BAY (51.5): Buccaneers 24, Falcons 20.
Seattle (-3) at MIAMI (38): The Dolphins can't possibly be as bad as they were last week, but they can still be terrible. Seahawks 22, Dolphins 17.
Baltimore (PK) at SAN DIEGO (47): Please, please, please, Baltimore, drive a stake through the heart of Norvula. Ravens 24, Chargers 23.
San Francisco (-2) at NEW ORLEANS (50): Rookie QBs don't play that well two weeks in a row, but New Orleans's defense is just too crappy to stand up to San Fran for long. 49ers 23, Saints 20.
St. Louis Rams (+2) at ARIZONA (37): Who's at quarterback for Arizona today, Rusty Litsch? Cardinals 20, Rams 16.
Green Bay (-3) at NEW YORK GIANTS (51): The porous Packer pass defense is just what Eli needs to get on track again. Giants 27, Packers 23.
Carolina (+3) at PHILADELPHIA (41): Please, please, please, Carolina, release Andy Reid from his hell -- so he can go replace Norv in San Diego next season. Panthers 26, Eagles 16.

Lock of the Week: Carolina
Trifecta: Indianapolis, Carolina, Chicago

Week Seven ATS: 7-6
Week Seven SU: 12-1
Week Seven Lock of the Week: 0-1
Week Seven Trifecta: 0-1
Week Seven $ Total: -$460

2012 Season ATS: 67-87-3
2012 Season SU: 99-57-1
2012 Season Lock of the Week: 4-7
2012 Season Trifecta: 2-9
2012 Season $ Total: -$3,770
2012 Season ProLine Totals: -$75

The Hoser's NFL Picks, U.S. Thanksgiving Edition, 2012 Week 12

Happy Thanksgiving to all you USAmericans today -- even though you're about a month late and you don't have poutine on your table. Man, are you guys missing out.

Houston (-3.5) at DETROIT (49): Can you really bet against the Lions to cover at home on Thanksgiving? Texans 27, Lions 24.

Washington (+4) at DALLAS (47.5): I think this is going to turn out the same way it did when the Natives sold Manhattan. Cowboys 29, Racists 19.

New England Patriots (-7) at NEW YORK JETS (47.5): Turkeys won't be the only thing getting slaughtered today. Patriots 36, Jets 13.

The Hoser's NFL Picks, 2012, Week 11 Edition

Philadelphia (+3.5) at WASHINGTON (45): Racists 23, Eagles 20.
Green Bay (-3) at DETROIT (53.5): Packers 33, Lions 24.
Arizona (+8) at ATLANTA (44): Falcons 27, Cardinals 14.
Tampa Bay (-1) at CAROLINA (48): Buccaneers 24, Panthers 20.
Cleveland (+7) at DALLAS (44): Cowboys 26, Browns 22.
New York Jets (+3.5) at ST. LOUIS RAMS (38.5): Rams 20, Jets 17.
Indianapolis (+9.5) at NEW ENGLAND (54): Patriots 30, Colts 23.
Jacksonville (+14.5) at HOUSTON (41): Texans 31, Jaguars 17.
Cincinnati (-3.5) at KANSAS CITY (43): Chiefs 22, Bengals 20.
New Orleans (-5.5) at OAKLAND (55.5): Saints 34, Raiders 27.
San Diego (+7.5) at DENVER (48): Broncos 23, Chargers 20.
Baltimore (-3) at PITTSBURGH (40.5): Ravens 24, Steelers 20.
Chicago (+7) at SAN FRANCISCO (37): 49ers 22, Bears 14.

Lock of the Week: Baltimore
Trifecta: Baltimore, New Orleans, Tampa Bay

Week Seven ATS: 4-10
Week Seven SU: 8-5-1
Week Seven Lock of the Week: 0-1
Week Seven Trifecta: 0-1
Week Seven $ Total: -$1,260

2012 Season ATS: 60-81-3
2012 Season SU: 87-56-1
2012 Season Lock of the Week: 4-6
2012 Season Trifecta: 2-8
2012 Season $ Total: -$3,310
2012 Season ProLine Totals: -$65

The Hoser's NFL Picks 2012, Week 11, Thursday Edition

Miami (+2.5) @ BUFFALO (45.5): Dolphins 23, Bills 20.

The Hoser's NFL Picks 2012, Week 10 Edition

Buffalo (+13) at NEW ENGLAND (53): Patriots 33, Bills 21.
New York Giants (-4) at CINCINNATI (49.5): Giants 27, Bengals 20.
San Diego (+3) at TAMPA BAY (47.5): Buccaneers 27, Chargers 17.
Denver (-3.5) at CAROLINA (47): Broncos 22, Panthers 20.
Tennessee (+6) at MIAMI (45): Dolphins 30, Titans 13.
Oakland (+7) at BALTIMORE (47.5): Ravens 26, Raiders 20.
Atlanta (-2.5) at NEW ORLEANS (54): Saints 26, Falcons 24.
Detroit (-2.5) at MINNESOTA (46): Lions 30, Vikings 20.
New York Jets (+6) at SEATTLE (39): Seahawks 23, Jets 16.
Dallas (-2.5) at PHILADELPHIA (44): Eagles 23, Cowboys 20.
St. Louis Rams (+11.5) at SAN FRANCISCO (39): 49ers 27, Rams 13.
Houston (-2) at CHICAGO (39.5): Bears 26, Texans 20.
Kansas City (+11) at PITTSBURGH (41): Steelers 30, Chiefs 14.

Lock of the Week: Miami
Trifecta: Miami, Detroit, Chicago

Week Seven ATS: 8-6
Week Seven SU: 11-3
Week Seven Lock of the Week: 1-0
Week Seven Trifecta: 1-0
Week Seven $ Total: $1,240

2012 Season ATS: 56-71-3
2012 Season SU: 79-51
2012 Season Lock of the Week: 4-5
2012 Season Trifecta: 2-7
2012 Season $ Total: -$2,050
2012 Season ProLine Totals: -$65

The Hoser's NFL Picks, Week 10, Thursday Edition

Indianapolis (-3.5) at JACKSONVILLE (43): Despite that 5-3 record, Indy is bad on the road and negative in point differential (-32 and counting). Does that mean you should put money on a Jaguars team that epitomizes bad in nearly every sense of the word, though? If you're getting better than a field goal at home, yes, yes it does. Colts 22, Jaguars 19.

The Hoser's NFL Picks, 2012 Edition, Week 9

Denver (-4) at CINCINNATI (47.5): Broncos 27, Bengals 20.
Arizona (+10) at GREEN BAY (43.5): Packers 26, Cardinals 13.
Miami (-2) at INDIANAPOLIS (43.5): Dolphins 23, Colts 17.
Baltimore (-3.5) at CLEVELAND (42.5): Ravens 22, Browns 19.
Buffalo (+10) at HOUSTON (47.5): Texans 30, Bills 23.
Carolina (+3) at WASHINGTON (48.5): Racists 24, Panthers 19.
Detroit (-6) at JACKSONVILLE (44): Lions 24, Jaguars 20.
Chicago (-4) at TENNESSEE (43.5): Bears 29, Titans 17.
Minnesota (+4.5) at SEATTLE (38.5): Seahawks 23, Vikings 17.
Tampa Bay (+2) at OAKLAND (47.5): Buccaneers 23, Raiders 20.
Pittsburgh (+3.5) at NEW YORK GIANTS (48): Giants 26, Steelers 20.
Dallas (+3.5) at ATLANTA (47.5): Falcons 26, Cowboys 19.
Philadelphia (+3) at NEW ORLEANS (51.5): Saints 31, Eagles 20.  

Lock of the Week: Chicago  
Trifecta: Chicago, Tampa Bay, New Orleans

Week Seven ATS: 6-7
Week Seven SU: 10-3
Week Seven Lock of the Week: 1-0
Week Seven Trifecta: 0-1
Week Seven $ Total: $230

2012 Season ATS: 48-65-3
2012 Season SU: 68-48
2012 Season Lock of the Week: 3-5
2012 Season Trifecta: 1-7
2012 Season $ Total: -$3,290
2012 Season ProLine Totals: -$65

The Hoser's NFL Picks 2012, Week 9 Thursday Edition

Kansas City (+7.5) at SAN DIEGO (40.5): If it was possible for both teams to lose this game, I'd pick that. Norv Turner is horrible, but Romeo Crennel makes Norv look like Chuck Noll. And that's pretty tough. Chargers 27, Chiefs 16.